Episode 84: Am I talking to a Wall?
Why Hard Conversations Are So Hard... A real, tender look at emotional regulation, fear of conflict, and how our horses mirror what we avoid
Episode Summary In today’s episode, Amber and Shayleigh unpack why hard conversations feel so difficult—and why most of us avoid them. Whether it’s fear of conflict, fear of abandonment, fear of being misunderstood, or simply the fear of being “too much,” this episode opens the door to examine what’s really going on in our nervous systems when truth wants to come forward.
They explore how early conditioning trains us to suppress, shrink, or freeze during moments of tension and how this plays out in our relationships—with humans and with horses. We talk about how internalized fear gets mirrored back through our animals, how unspoken truths affect the energy between us, and what it takes to move from shutdown to presence. Amber shares insight from her hypnosis studies, while Shayleigh reflects on ancestral patterns and intuitive communication.
There’s plenty of laughter, deep questions, and some unexpected turns into dreamwork
This episode isn’t a to-do list for having better conversations—it’s an invitation to feel what your body does before words even come out of your mouth. To explore how you can listen to your inner signals without abandoning yourself or others. And to remember that hard conversations are often sacred initiations into deeper truth.
Reflection Questions
What physical sensations arise when you're about to say something difficult?
How did your early environment teach you to handle conflict—or not?
Where do you tend to go: freeze, fawn, defend, distract, disappear?
What conversations are you currently avoiding, and why?
How do your horses respond to your emotional honesty versus your emotional suppression?
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Timestamps
00:00 – Why we’re talking about hard conversations
03:00 – What your body does before you speak
07:30 – Fear of being misunderstood or abandoned
11:15 – Horses feel it all: what we say and don’t say
14:50 – Emotional patterns and nervous system reactions
18:40 – Early conditioning and conflict response
23:30 – Ancestral fears and intuitive communication
32:00 – Internalized fear and the identity of “too much”
35:40 – What happens when you stop performing and start feeling
41:00 – Tools to get present before the conversation even starts
45:20 – Inviting softness, self-trust, and curiosity
