Episode 90: Desperately Speaking...

Episode Summary

This episode starts with Shayleigh naming something that a lot of people quietly live in, asking for answers and then doubting their intuition the second the answer feels too hard to hold. She talks about what happens when you are told not to intervene, when you are not the right messenger for someone, and why some truths are not meant to be delivered by you.

Amber and Shayleigh pull that thread into a bigger conversation about the fantasy of “leveling up,” the idea that growth means life gets easier, cleaner, and more certain. They talk about how empowering people is not about giving them the answer, it is about helping them find their own. The second half goes deep into desperation. Shayleigh shares a healing experience that took her back into the womb, where she suddenly felt desperation as a real embodied state, not an idea. Amber shares her own relationship with desperation, shaped early by loss, and how that has created a strange gift, being able to be with someone’s intensity without getting pulled under by it. Then, in divine comedic timing, the thunderstorm takes Amber out mid-call and Shayleigh wraps it up solo.

Quick Takeaways ↠ Do not ask questions you are not ready to hear the answer to ↠ Sometimes “I can’t intervene” is the most honest guidance ↠ Empowerment is not dependency, it is internal leadership ↠ Your questions shape what your brain goes looking for ↠ Desperation can feel like a victim state, until it becomes a bridge to empathy ↠ Growth does not mean ease forever, it means capacity

Questions Intuition and truth

↠ What question am I asking right now that I am secretly hoping has a certain answer?

↠ If my intuition gave me the honest answer, what part of me would feel threatened by it?

↠ Do I actually not trust my intuition, or do I not want to carry what it is showing me? Empowerment versus dependency

↠ Where do I want someone else to be the authority so I do not have to be?

↠ What do I keep outsourcing that is actually my responsibility to choose?

↠ If I stopped asking for answers and started asking better questions, what would I ask instead? Leveling up myths

↠ Where did I learn the idea that growth means life should get easier?

↠ If growth is capacity, not comfort, what would capacity look like in my life right now?

↠ What would it mean to be in the middle of a transition without needing it to make sense yet? Desperation and nervous system

↠ What does desperation feel like in my body, if I tell the truth?

↠ Do I judge desperation in others because I do not understand it, or because I am afraid of it?

↠ When I feel desperate, what do I think I need someone else to take from me? Relationship patterns

↠ What energy do I experience as invasive, and why?

↠ Where do I ask someone to change my life, without realizing I am asking?

↠ What agreement could I make with one person in my life to help me catch my negative loops? Practical Integration

↠ Pick one repeating question you ask when you are spiraling (like “What is wrong with me?”)

↠ Rewrite it into a question that creates power (example: “What is my nervous system asking for right now?”)

↠ Ask it daily for a week, and notice what your brain starts feeding you instead Nutmeg’s Corner Nutmeg would like to remind you, lovingly, that if you ask the universe for the truth and then get mad when it answers, that is a you problem, not a universe problem. Stay curious, not dramatic. Or at least be funny if you are going to be dramatic.

Nutmeg’s Corner

Nutmeg would like to remind you, lovingly, that if you ask the universe for the truth and then get mad when it answers, that is a you problem, not a universe problem. Stay curious, not dramatic. Or at least be funny if you are going to be dramatic.