Episode 95: Beyond Horsemanship
Tea Time with Shayleigh & Amber
Where Are You Arguing for Your Limitations?
Where are you arguing for your limitations, and how often do you even realize you're doing it?
We're back from our Beyond Horsemanship clinic, and holy cow, do we have some stories! From horses showing us what it looks like to stand in our power, to two horses having a very real conversation with each other, to four dogs getting skunked and Shayleigh becoming an unlikely traffic hero, this clinic gave us plenty to talk about.
But underneath all the laughter, chaos, and beautiful moments was a theme that kept showing up.
The stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we're capable of, and how we're supposed to show up. We talk about what happens when we stop labeling experiences as good or bad, how our horses have their own experiences that don't always revolve around us, and why sometimes the very situations we would normally try to avoid become opportunities to see just how much we've grown. And of course, the horses had a few things to say about all of it.
Messages From the Horses
Freya: "Be gentle unless gentleness isn't working." A reminder that being quiet, compliant, or gentle isn't the only acceptable way to express ourselves.
Hollywood: "If you can't stand up for something, at least stand out." Giving ourselves permission to take up space and be seen.
Galileo: "Be the calm in the storm, or else be the storm." Exploring our capacity to respond to what is happening rather than automatically reacting.
The collective message: What matters most is how we show up as individuals and how we feel about the way we showed up.
Questions to Take You Deeper Where in your life are you arguing for your limitations?
What do you regularly say about yourself that might be keeping you in an old pattern?
Are there parts of yourself you've learned to quiet down because being agreeable, gentle, or accommodating was rewarded?
When your horse does something unexpected, do you immediately make it about something you've done wrong?
What changes when you allow your horse to have their own experience?
Think about a situation that would have completely dysregulated you a year ago. How might you respond differently today?
Where are you avoiding something because of who you believe yourself to be?
What might become possible if you challenged that story?
When something doesn't go according to plan, how quickly can you pivot rather than getting stuck in what you thought was supposed to happen?
What would change if you measured your growth by how you showed up rather than whether everything went perfectly?
A Little Invitation Pay attention this week to the statements you make about yourself. "I'm just not good at that." "I'm not a confrontational person." "My horse always does this." "That's just how I am."
Get curious.
Are those things actually true, or are they stories you've repeated so many times that they've become familiar? And what might happen if you stopped arguing for them?
Come Join Us in the Tea House If you enjoy conversations like this, we'd love to have you join us inside Shayleigh & Amber's Tea House.
Our membership is where we continue exploring the horse-human relationship, nervous system regulation, personal growth, animal communication, and all the things that come up along the way.
We have live gatherings, a growing library of experiences and processes, exclusive offerings, and a community of people who are willing to get curious, laugh at themselves, and do the deeper work.
Join the Tea House: https://www.amberlydic.com/membership
Explore more podcast episodes: https://www.amberlydic.com/podcast
We're also looking ahead to our 2027 Beyond Horsemanship clinics, so if you're interested in attending or potentially hosting us, we'd love to hear from you. And if this episode brought something up for you, tell us in the comments:
Where have you caught yourself arguing for your limitations?
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who might need to hear it.
With love, Amber & Shayleigh
Episode Timestamps 00:12 The witching hour and arguing for our limitations 03:36 Animal communication and the horses' messages 04:01 Freya: Be gentle unless gentleness isn't working 06:02 When being well-behaved becomes the definition of being good 07:21 Hollywood: If you can't stand up for something, at least stand out 08:36 Loving accountability and changing patterns with our horses 09:58 The great skunk disaster 13:11 Pumpkin festival traffic and Shayleigh stepping outside her comfort zone 15:44 Adapting to the unexpected at the clinic 16:23 When two horses have their own conversation 17:27 What happens when humans don't escalate with their horses 18:06 Recognizing growth through contrast 19:18 The horses' collective message and Galileo's wisdom 20:08 The power of pivoting and the intentions we set 23:08 Where are you arguing for your limitations?
